Is Monogamy Dead?

A monogamist in a poly-curious dating world

After a six-month pause from dating apps, I recently decided to rejoin my fellow masochists of love and resubscribe. While swiping through what felt like a Petrie dish of men, I noticed more profiles listing their relationship type as ethically non-monogamous, or ENM.

This isn't new territory—I’ve seen it before. But never at this velocity, never with this openness.

So, it got me thinking. Is this because:

A) I lowered the age range on my prospective gentleman? (Let's call this what it is: a supply chain issue)

B) Los Angeles, specifically, this bustling part of the city, has singletons who are no longer concerned about fitting a traditional mold?

Or C) Monogamy was never really a thing; it was just the illusion of a thing. Like thinking your ex has actually changed this time.

I did what any curious over thinker would do: I went down the ENM rabbit hole, and now I'm here to share what I learned, because understanding is always better than judging.

Ethical non-monogamy is the umbrella term for various forms of consensual non-monogamous relationships. I used to think ENM was just a more palatable word for an open relationship, meaning when two people are together but agree they can have the occasional sexual encounter with someone else. That's one form of ENM, but calling it just that is like saying all relationships are Disney movies with guaranteed happy endings (and we know this is inaccurate).